The Voice of Chaos

2009/12/21

Fear of insanity

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 1:23 am

Do other people fear their mind ?

The mind is a mysterious thing. In some cases I am like a child. Completely unable to understand certain concepts.

I am at this point 100% reliant on an individual for the basics in life and all the none basics as well.  I have found myself becoming less of an adult about things and more of a dependent. Mind you was I ever really an adult any way.

So how do people do it? Does any one have any ideas how one can be 100% reliant on another individual yet some how feel like they are part of a team ?

I have a lot to offer I know that – but it seems with out contributing finacially I can not seem to believe I have equal rights.

Please understand to my knowledge this person is NOT in any way treating me like I do not have equal rights. I am self imposing it .. I think.

Here is where the fear of insanity comes in.  What if I am wrong ? what if its all in my head ? what if the world that I think I am living in is imaginary.

Can you do me a favor all of my readers – if you actually think I am going insane – do something about it please. Do not let me get so lost in my self delusion again that I think everything is Ok when its not.

My doctor once made a literary reference to a personality characteristic I have. I didnt understand it and I do not remember it. When I asked him to explain it  he said ” Basicly its a little girl skipping down the streets of harlem at night completely oblivious to the dangers around her ”

Sometimes I am that little girl and sometimes I am like an angry scared dog – ready to bite the people trying to help me. AND sometimes some glorious wonderful days – I am me. I love those days. I want to hold onto them forever. I never want to sleep in fear the next day I will not be so lucky.

Where and how does the split happen is something I spent a lot of time talking to my doctor about.  I have spent a lot of time discussing boundaries. I think its pretty heavily intertwined.

If I can not control an aggressor  I give in to them and then I just create another world with out them in it,

I am glad to be learning all that I am.

2009/12/19

DRM – What is it ?

Filed under: DRM — admin @ 2:05 am

DRM – What is it ? What does it mean ? Why do I care ?

All really good questions I keep asking myself.

DRM stands for Digital rights management. In lamens terms it is the protection in place so that you may not copy and redistribute media.

It also prevents you from creating a back up of your media, it prevents you from playing your media on certain devices or reading it on others. It essentially single handedly can control what you purchase as a consumer. This sounds like legally mandated monopolies.

Now some of you may think I am regurgitating propaganda from another individual. I am not. I am slowly learning through my refusal to boot into windows how DRM is effecting me.

The problem I think the DRM is trying to solve is illegal sharing of music movies and other products that individuals pay for. It doesn’t work – it is having the opposite effect on me. Because of DRM I can not view the movie I want to pay to view. I refuse to let the copyright industry dictate to me what my Operating system must be. I KNOW they could offer the service to me for my operating system, I know this because others offer it for free.

Copyright laws are no longer there to prevent people from photocopying books. They are there to prevent the exchange of media and the trading of files.

We have all seen the adds ” You wouldn’t steal a car …..” you know the rest.

Lets go back to books again. I do not know how many of you grew up in a textbook starved school district – I did. My math instructor in one of my schools had ONE math book. One math text book for 25 students.  He photocopied it. I can be certian he did not ask premision to do so. I can also be certian the text book company expected the school to purchase one for every student. It never happened. There was no magic paper that refused to be photocopied and my teacher was never arrested to my knowledge.The industry did not go broke. I am certain my math teacher was not the only one doing this. English teachers photocopied short stories.  I worked for a university and the professors there would photocopy text books for students all the time.  Only 3 chapters of a text book were needed – why make the student purchase the text.

This was over 15 years ago now, things I am sure have only gotten worse.  I have worked in underfunded school districts – expensive programs were purchased,  only one license – 35 lab computers would run the program.

Sharing of information and knowledge is not a new thing – its more wide spread and easily accessible with new technologies.

Does any one know how the copyright industry responded to the photocopy machine ? All articles I seem to find on it are in accessible unless I pay. I suspect they responded negatively.

So here is a question: Is it possible for the copyright industry to prevent users from pirating their work while still allowing users to utilize the media any way they see fit ?

I think the answer is No.  The DRM is doing nothing – people just break them.

How can the industry change? How can the industry respond and keep up to consumers desires ?

I think people will always want to see movies on the big screen. Box office sales will always be popular. If movies can be downloaded and copied some one will purchase them.  Some people may even wish to purchase a blue ray disk or a dvd.  As soon as you marry a studio to a viewing device – you are demanding that consumers purchase a particular brand of hardware over another brand of the same hardware.  What is to stop studios from teaming up with device manufactures to push out other device manufactures ? Do we end up with the best product ? or do we end up with the only product we can buy? Do we end up with a government mandated monopoly?

Now I am going to switch gears and talk about womens clothing. Womens clothing is a frustrating thing for me and here is why. I am not sure WHO decides what the color of the season will be, or if Pastels are back in. I do know that there have been years I have not purchased a single article of new clothing. Some one got it in their head that pastel pink and orange and violet where the colors of the season. It becomes impossible to find anything that is not in those colors.  I grit my teeth and make it through the season – go to value village and buy some ones used clothes. At least they are in a color I WANT.

An inevitably I am not the only one who has cringed by some designer trying to bring back pastels (* I think THEY should be illegal ) a new season comes and the sales racks are full of horrible colored shirts marked down from $40 to $5. I might buy when then – you know one can never have enough painting clothes.

I am almost certain the person who made that call to make 1 billion pastel tank tops -  gets fired or reprimanded and there is a loss in sales. The womens clothing industry not only needs to worry about the econ0my they also need to worry about what the changing desires of their client is and they MUST respond accordingly. Failure to do so would bankrupt them.

The media consumer – wants to purchase their music, videos etc. and DO What they want with them. Play it on what ever device they choose and lend it out to as many friends as they want.

Back to the clothing industry. I once lived in a dorm with 6 other girls – were all close to the same size. We shared everything but our underwear. Well sometimes even a bra.  It was like having a wardrobe 6 times larger then before. The clothing industry did not come in and arrest us.  The shirts and pants did not self destruct when being worn by some one who did not purchase them.Its even possible I borrowed a pair of pants from some one – enjoyed the fit and felt I wanted my own. I went out and purchased a pair.

I know I am not alone in this experience. Yes I understand guys do not share clothes but girls do ALL the time.

How about cassette tapes – how many cheesy mixed tapes where made in the 80′s.

This is a cultural norm they are fighting and I think they would better profit from attempting to exploit the cultural norm instead of changing it.

The Question is: How ?

2009/12/18

School

Filed under: School — admin @ 5:06 am

Ok so an update on school. Here is where I sit:

I must complete all my Course work By February 1, 2010 including finals

The work remaining and grades to date are as  follows:

Comp 200 – 99% ( I recieved 98% on a quiz worth 1% of my mark  everything else has been 100%)

1 project

1 final exam

Admin 232 90%

1 midterm

1 essay

1 final exam


Admin 233 ( Better known as English ) 78%

2 assignments

1 final exam

CMIS 311 ( better known as WTF is this course about ) 100%* note I have only completed the participation part of this course. Say 700 words in a forum – we all know I can talk.

3 projects

1 final exam.

As you can see CMIS 311 I am in trouble. Here is my hope – get Admin 232 done ASAP. Get COMP200 done ASAP. The Admin 232 essay should take me 1 full day provided I find some one generous enough to edit for me. I never have my english homework edited for me – but all other writing I do.  Comp 200 final project is a web site and a java program and a java applet. Once I complete this CMIS projects will seem easier.

I have been stumped by CMIS as the first project is to create a web page providing an outline of the first four chapters. They ask you to use a wyswyg editer accept I can not find one that makes sense to me. I think the reason is I really do not know html. My final COMP200 project will teach it to me. The second Project in CMIS is making a balance sheet. its all supose to be around using MS Office I think.  Again the web site things stumped me and I have not given the class the time It should have been given.

I have learned that there is a bit of a challenge with online classes. Its hard to focus its hard to deal with things disrupting you at home and its hard to learn to say no – to yourself and others.

To much climbing – not enough studying. I have known in the back of my mind I can extend ONE CLASS if I need to. the deadline to extend is FAST approaching. I feel it may be necessary to do this with CMIS 311.

Time managment has always been an issue for me but I feel I am learning it. I feel it is forced on my by both my desire to once again be employed and my desire to do well.

I was warned by Athabasca that most students can not handle 4 courses their first semester.  They may been right. I shall see what I complete this weekend and go from there.

Linux adventures

Filed under: DRM,Linux — Tags: — admin @ 4:24 am

So in the adventures of me actually learning Linux I am attempting to use Netflix. This is becoming more and more unlikely as the evening goes on.

Basically I have been stuck in bed for the better part of a week. I am going stir crazy. I am home alone tonight – my partner in crime is climbing. This is of course what I would LIKE to be  doing so I am already a bit grumpy that I am not.

So the goal: Watch Team America Police the world.

Why? Because somebody not mentioning ANY names and you know who you are, got the movie stuck in my head.

I can not go rent it because the video store is about 8 blocks away – I am sick and have no car. 8 blocks seems really far when you have a flu.  It seems I can not get any one to rent it for me due to the fact that they do not wish to be seen renting it.

So home at 5:30 pm wanting to watch a movie. I log on to netflix and am shot down because I am not running windows or OSX. I feel confident that some one in the linux community has worked around this. I  reach for my friend google and do a search.  First hit I feel like I might have success. I get to an Ubuntu forum http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=1091125&page=4 and I start reading. In true form I feel success even though the thread is OLD and I have yet to actually read the solution just ideas.

So what did I learn:

I Learned that you can fool a web page into thinking you are running windows. I had no idea this was possible so good lesson to know I think

I learned there is product out there called moonlight which is the open source version of starlight.

I learned that even with tricking the web site and running moonlight it still will not work. Why? Because of the DRM.

I learned that codecs have pattens

Its important to note that when I started this adventure a seasoned Linux user advised me ” I do not use netflix to stream” and once again discussed with me his believe in only using products he can do what he wants with. Now do not get me wrong I respect the point of view of this individual but sometimes I have to learn things myself.

I once again have attempted to go to the movie industry and pay them for use of a product – they have refused to support my method of viewing and have now lost my business. It is stubborn that I refuse to boot into windows in order to watch a movie. You might even say clearly I do not want to watch it that badly. Its possible that I just don’t.  However, it is more likely that I have enjoyed 5 years of not using windows and am more willing to find an alternative to netflix then I am to boot my machine into windows.

So the new product I am going to try is called Miro.

So far from a beginer Linux users standpoint it has proved to be a challenge but not impossible. Apt-get install was easy enough. I have to load it from command line at this point. I hope that changes because I will admit that will get annoying fast for this newbie Linux user.

now that I have program open – its not quit as intuitive as I would like it be. I want to add an RSS feed from ShowRSS. I think the reason I am finding this to be a challenge is

1)  I do not understand RSS feeds

2) I do not understand bittorrent.

I have successfully started downloading what ever happens to be new on their site. NOT what I was trying to do. I was hoping there would be a way to give Miro my log in and password and have Miro look at my preferences. I am not convinced there isn’t a way to do this yet.

Time to go with something easier. Q recently became a father him and his wife post videos of their baby on YouTube, I am going to try and link my YouTube subscription to Miro.

This turned out to be really easy! I didnt actually link my personal youtube subscription instead  I searched the user in the movie search – and bang there it was. I clicked add as feed suddenly it was downloading. I stopped the downloads. I do not need videos of Q being a Dad on my computer. I have essentially created another subscription to Q’s youtube account via Miro. Again not what was hoping for but still useful enough.

8:30 PM I am still not watching Team America and do not have the slightest idea how to find it. I think I understand even more why its important to support open platform products and products that do not force you to use proprietary software.

off to figure out why Open Inkpot is NOT working on my EReader. This is another adventure I have been working through – I will save it for another post.

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