The more things I try and juggle and the more pressures around me – the more crazy I am becoming. it took me 5 minutes today to remember my name. A few moments ago I couldn’t remember where I was. I am really scared that this is happening to me and I feel like there is no safe place for me to turn. I don’t know why its happening and It feels out of control. I am losing my temper quickly defending like a dog shoved in a corner. Those around me are surely losing patients and I am really scared.
Why do I write this stuff ? Maybe by the time I am done I will have a magic solution one that will fail like all the others – but at least I will have motivation to try.
I don’t understand why just being me causes so much conflict – Its possible I should stop being me ?
This is all very melodramatic but sadly I just need a shoulder to cry on but I have soaked them all.